Who the #*^$ is Billy Mays and why is he screaming at me?

I had never heard of Billy Mays when I first endured his undesired entry into my home via a direct-response television commercial a few years back. I figured I must have had a gap in my pop culture lexicon; he introduced himself as if I should already know him and be ready to purchase whatever he endorsed in rapt, open-mouthed wonder.1

Apparently, many people do. He has appeared in what seems to be at least half a dozen commercials, so someone must keep hiring him. Which means a lot of people must be responding positively to this obnoxious, incredible loudmouth’s high-wattage insincerity.Normally, I wouldn’t have given him any additional thought, but now I am a blogger, so I have to actually do a bit of background work before I pontificate.He always struck me (for the brief period between the start of one of his commercials and the moment when I finally located the right remote with the MUTE button) as someone who used to either work as a carnival barker, or worked his way up from hawking dusting wands at the Home Show with an amplified hands-free headset, accosting passers by on their way to get competitive aluminum siding quotes.. And lo, and behold:

That’s exactly what he is. 

 

According to his Wikipedia entry,

Mays began his career as a salesman on the Atlantic City boardwalk, selling the “Washmatik” portable washing device to passersby. Working alongside many seasoned pitchmen, he developed his trademark style of salesmanship. Mays later traveled to home shows, auto shows and state fairs across the United States for a period of twelve years selling various maintenance products and tools, including cleaning products and food choppers.”

 I love that phrase, “working alongside many seasoned pitchmen”. What a lovely, sanitized way of saying, “he learned the fine art of screwing people out of their money from other scumbags who had been doing it longer”. 

You know, it’s bad enough that many television networks deliberately amplify the volume of their commercial content well above that of the program you’ve tuned in to watch. Now, you have to endure this ass clown entering your home uninvited, shouting at you to buy some schlock you don’t want. Is there a hell hot enough for this hairball? 

And let’s place blame where it belongs as well. Anyone who hires him is guilty. And they hire him because he drives sales. Therefore, if you’ve bought something that he’s sold, you’re guilty. Stop the madness. Now.

1Who does he think he is anyway, George Foreman?

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79 responses to “Who the #*^$ is Billy Mays and why is he screaming at me?

  1. I think this could have been a more scholarly treatment, beginninf with Ron Popeil, transitioning to Rula Lenska, and finishing with Tony Sinclair.

  2. Pingback: » Dear TV Advertisers: Stop Annoying Me! I Think Therefore I Blog: Homeschooling While Staying Sane

  3. screaming billy is a prick like george w.w bush .

  4. Billy Mays. I think of him when I clean my guns. WHAT AN OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLE.

  5. Glad to read this. I knew I could not be the only one who found this jerk irritating. I would not buy any product this wad was promoting….he screams everything….I either kill the sound or change channels when IT is on….

  6. mary ingraham

    I am soooooo glad to see this! I was afraid I was the only person in America who “muted” him as soon as I heard his screaming! I will NEVER buy anything he pitches!!!NEVER!!!! Why do so many companies hire him?? Does he actual sell their stuff?????? He is so obnoxious!!!

  7. To stop the Big Mouth, simple just stop buying his scams. Kaboom Toilet Bowl Cleaner says your bowl will stay clean for up to three months…I got one month out of it. Billy Mays is just a snake oil sales man. I’d never buy anything he yells about. I just turn him off every time.

  8. Virginia Marques

    How do we shut up Billy May? I asked the question and finally found this site. I knew there must be others who wanted to stuff a rag in his big loud mouth. My mute button is on more than it is off. In fact, I have renamed it the Billy May button. There must be a way to get rid of him. These are the absolutely most obnoxious commercials., with one exception, the Vonage commercial is no far beind. I will not buy anything Billy May has anything to do woth selling.

  9. I have an idea on how to get rid of Billy May’s screeming commercials. Write to the various companies that are using him and complain. I just did. I wrote to ican.com for one and complained. Don’t know if it will save on my mute button.

  10. Yes——I agree. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who gets annoyed at seeing him on my TV. To tell you the truth, sometimes I start laughing automatically when he comes on. He is a CLOWN!–An insincere one at that. As for his MIGHTY PUTTY promotion–thats the stuff Plumbers use to patch up a leaking drain pipe. You can pick it up in any hardware store. You don’t need to order it from him. Its true what the first guy said–He is a low-life trying to convince you to buy something that you don’t really need. I think most who people buy the products that he promotes, buy them in hopes that he’ll shut-up and get off of their screen.

  11. I think Billy Mays is a eunuch with a fake beard. And I’m not so damn sure he’s not really Bluto from POPEYE.

  12. Billy Mayes is the most obnoxious and loud mouthed fool I have ever heard in my life. Why so many companies hire him to to hawk their products, I’ll never know because all he does with his SCREAMING is force people to turn him OFF!!!!! I, for one, am going to contact these companies and beg them to get RID of him immediately!!! Anyone out there who can’t stand him, please do the same! I’m wearing out the Mute button on my remote and it’s screaming for help too.

  13. this loudmouth idiot needs to be advertising hearing aids!I hate every commercial that he is on and would never buy any of the products he advertises.

  14. Apparently, some people are buying product that this con endorses because some companies report a surge in sales when they use him as a pitchman. He even screams on a commercial where he endorses life insurance! He has no credibility with me at all. I never have, and never will buy any product that is endorsed by Billy Mayes! This guy is so irritating he could give exlax the shits!

  15. I watch foxnews all the time but when this idiot comes on I switch to cnn for the rest of the day.
    If he is on much longer I will leave fox forever.

  16. I agree wholeheartedly with all these people, at first it’s just something to bitch about to your friends, but this is the final straw. That loud-mouth asshole is on EVERY commercial it seems, and the products he’s pitching seem to be preety much O.K. but it’s too bad for those companies because I refuse to buy anything after being so annoyed and interrupted from a peaceful state. I can’t get to the mute button fast enough. Isn’t there something we can do about this?! It’s getting way to out of hand and I’m sick to death of this screaming lunatic. Maybe he needs a freakin hearing aid…seriously.

  17. Everybody on here is funny. You are all mad at a man who is hired to talk about a product. He does not own the products he talks about. You are calling him a scam artist but to be a scam artist you need to own the product you are selling. One person said it already but you should be mad at the company selling the products that didnt work for you. Lets be honest that is why most of you are so mad, because you purchased a product from a tv ad that did not work for you. And although you all hate billy mays so much there are a million people who like him.

  18. Hold up everyone. If you can’t beat him, put a wad of mighty putty in his mouth to shut him up, or fumigate him with a case of Kaboom, then perhaps we could use the use the poor bastard for some good.

    My idea for a product in genius, requires no shipping or handling (although we’ll charge it anyway) and might just put some of his barking to good use.

    We’ll call it “Scream Away” home pest removal.

    Customer pays just $19.99 and we’ll send them a video tape of this blathering fool’s squawking – as a tool for driving every pest from the customer’s home.

    Customer turns TV up and leaves the home for one hour and Kaboom! All pests are GONE!

    We can then follow up with spin off products like “Spouse Out”.

    Want to drive off an unwanted spouse? We have a Billy Mays tape for that too.

    Wanna get your kids to do their homework? We’ll introduce the Billy Mays “Begging For Homework” series….. where good ole Mays violates your kid’s ear drums until they beg for a quiet place to go do homework.

    Ahhh this was a good post, and one one that had me laughing for 20 minutes. Thanks everyone.

    Danny Vice
    http://www.theweeklyvice.com

  19. By the way, if you ever decide to write about the ShamWow commercial – I want to know immediately. The asshat in that commercial provides 3 minutes of the most nauseating, manhood shriveling, grab your hair out in clumps blather that I’ve ever heard.

    You think it’s a Saturday Night Live spoof at first until halfway through when he says “ya followin’ me camera guy”… and suddenly you realize the horror is real, since no network show would intentionally abuse a person in such way.

    thanks again!

  20. The instant I see Billy Mays in an ad I change the channel. He is soooo irritating with his screaming and with his dyed hair and beard. Why do advertisers use someone who customers will not view.

  21. why doesnt he put himself under an abrams tank tread? Or….fire himself from the cannon!
    he has caused me to destroy a perfectly good tv with his loud yammering about a no good BS prouduct at $19.95 BUT IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW…….ILL SELL YOU MORE CRAP! (I THINK YOU ARE STUPID)

  22. Mistress of Mute

    Oh, you folks are so funny!

    I don’t buy any products that Billy Mayes endorses because I’m not a fan of being yelled at.

    I guess if a product is not worth using a second time, the marketing team has to come up with “alternative ideas” to get new users, hence, Billy Mayes assaulting your senses?

  23. Yeah; he’s quite the fool. I guess he puts on his resume, “Will pitch your crappy product to the world and make them believe they can’t live without it. Please, no legitimate products.”

    You may wonder why he keeps getting hired when we all clearly find him annoying and think the products he endorses suck. It’s because the millions of morons who sit through the entire run of commercials between their Everybody Loves Raymond garbage with a little drool hanging from their mouths and their eyes slightly out of focus don’t think about how much of a jerk he is and how obviously worthless the products are. They probably aren’t even aware they’re watching a commercial, which is exactly what the advertisers want—people who will CALL NOW because thinking too much hurts their heads. These people don’t come onto blogs like this.

  24. It only gets better. Now, this glorified carnival clown is selling HEALTH INSURANCE! Sure, he’s just doing his job. But my question is, who would trust an insurance company that would choose to advertise their product this way? Geeesh.

  25. He is living proof that there are people from other planets. What a moran. How many producers of good products realize that we will not purchase their products after listening to this screeming idiot promote it.

  26. I hate his commercials. I run for the remote and MUTE him immediately. I will NEVER buy any product he is pitching. Now it seems like everyone is using him. So sad…

  27. I would not buy eternal life from this guy if he was selling if for a nickel.

  28. Billy Mays is without a doubt the most annoying person on television today, which is saying something as the boob tube is overloaded with annoying people. He just happens to be their leader.
    I have no idea if the products he sells work, because I refuse to buy any of them. Any credibility and possible trust of those products’ effectiveness goes down the drain as soon as I see who is hawking them. And yes, ITA with the rest who commented here: my mute button gets a hell of a work-out.

  29. Loved this piece on Billy Mays.

    The reason for his success is quite simple, consumers don’t educate themselves and rely completely on the pitch. I sell computers and I see this behavior from my customers every single day. Instead of making an informed decision, they simply ask me, “Which one is a good one?” Based completely on the energy of my answer, I can sell whatever I want to them. Scary isn’t it?

    Now if I was a con man and not a salesman, I could have these people walking out the door with the worst computer in the building and they would be thrilled and do it based only on my recommendation.

    Billy Mays is a success because he does what people are too lazy to do, which is find out more about the product they’re buying.

  30. MAN, do I hate this fruit cake! But listen, here’s what the companies think who hire him: Let’s hire Billy and see our products talked about! Why would we EVER talk about a toilet bowl cleaner? OxiClean? Right!

    Smart Companies but they should be tossed across the border.

  31. I’m gonna retire soon, and am looking for a hobby. Maybe a get rid of billy mays campaign would be good. Speaking of campaigns, I noticed some Bush hating moron just had to tie Bush in the conversation with mays!?! I’m beginning to hate the George Bush haters. I have just one thing to say, most problems started when we had Wall Street and Congress of years ago playing with the prime rate and sub prime during the Clinton administration. The leading congressmen were democrats and with Clinton’s push..loosening qualifications for people that lived in poor conditions, making very little money, usually because they dropped out of school or were not willing to apply themselves. The republicans and democrats in congress made it possible for slugs like you AL to get home loans just because people like Obama and Frank wanted everyone to get to play house together. Screw the fact that there was no way that those getting loans could afford them. So shut the f–k up about Bush you Lemming. Look it up. Rick in Indy

  32. I want to kill Billy!!!
    Put an end to his lies!!
    He is a charlatan, snake charmer and downright rascal!
    Any one else with me on this??
    Put an oxyclean frigging bullet in his NOT so mighty putty frigging brain!!!
    Billy, If I see you on the street…you are history!!
    You are a f—— idiot!! I will NEVER buy anything you pitch!!
    How do the companies that hire you sleep at night?? Are they as brain dead as you?!!!
    I am going to hunt this man down and put an end to this countries nightmare with infomercial bullies!!

  33. BILLY….YOU NEED TO GO Away…….NOW!!!!!!!!!!

  34. And I thought I was the only one that saw him as a reincarnation of Bluto….I’m still waiting for Popeye to show up and kick his loudmouth ,boorish a$$…”it’s all I can stands, I can’t stands it no more !!!”

  35. Billy Mays is nothing but a dirty shiteating slut, and the people that buy his products and make him rich need to be lobotomized.

  36. He’s gotta go.

    I have taken the trouble to look up the parent company of one of his products, write a personal letter to the CEO pointing out the folly of hiring a rutting orangutan to represent his company.

    if enough of us did that maybe he’d get blacklisted.

    He has a site, billy mays productions where you could write. but he’s a nutjob.

    instead write the networks telling them you switch stations the instant you see him..

  37. I think Billy is very annoying. I do hope he will go away. Far – Far Away…

  38. I looked through google to find a site that has some constructive way to get him off of the air. All I get are sites that echo my own complaints. Can someone with clout set up a BOYCOTT that gets HUGE exposure? This needs to go viral!

  39. I can’t MUTE him fast enough I never listen he can give people head problems ….. thanks to him my MUTE is getting worn out needing a new remote soon

  40. Glad to find that I’m not the only one who can’t stand this guy, Billy Mays. What a dolt!

  41. This jerk is the ONLY advertisement where we INVARIABLY MISS part of the show that comes after his commercials, since WE ALWAYS MUTE THIS JACKASS……………..ALWAYS……..
    Wouldn’t buy one of his advertised products if we couldn’t live without it.

  42. Billy May pisses me OFF…!!

    I always fall asleep watching tv until this stupid moron wakes me up with his stupid loud voice.

    I will never buy anything in his commercials, someone needs to stop hiring this moron

  43. Thanks so much for putting so accurately my thoughts about Billy Mays, the obnoxious clown that disrupts my peace all too often. I will never buy anything that he sells. Never, ever. Mute the minute I see his face or he opens his big mouth.

  44. colonel ray hesnon

    I hate him and his screaming, I will never buy anything he screams about !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  45. I hate his commercials. There’s no reason to shout or scream on TV. His voice is very irritating. I can never understand why they keep hiring him. I always switch to another channel when I see him coming. Just talk like a normal person and I would at least watch the entire ad.

  46. Get rid of this obnoxious voice.
    Cannot stand him.
    I switch channels immediately after hitting the mute button.

  47. While I find his hair incredibly lush and beautiful, his constant yelling never makes me want to listen or buy a product. I mute the television each time a commercial of his begins. It’s annoying to bark me into buying a product.

  48. Most obnoxious human this planet has ever known. Someone needs to shoot him so we all can have some peace and quiet.

  49. He reminds me of the guy from the movie “Run Ronnie Run”. He had the Magic Food Eraser……it simply erases fooood!!!!! The blade comes out and hits the lady in the chest and his only worry was whether they could erase the little blooper from the tape……..the editor said “uh…..no”.

    I believe he is the “illegitimate” son of the Ronco man from years ago!!!

  50. Ya know, now that I think about it……I feel like I should pity him. He can’t go ANYWHERE in his everyday life and walk up to a stranger, and say “hi, I’m billy mayes” and,

    A. They knock the shit out of him.

    B. They run screaming pulling their hair out because……..no remote.

    Face it, who would hang out with Billy Mayes? He just happens to show up at the party and Shirley spills her Sex on the Beach…….she’s afraid she’s pissed you off by ruining your carpet so, now she’s vulnerable……….along about then, some asshot screams, “OXYCLEAN WILL TAKE THAT STAIN OUT”……..the moment is gone……….AND SO IS BILLY MAYES ASS!!!!

    So, I feel like it’s my duty as a human to pity the man………..we know his face and we love to hate him. Weird huh?

    Leaves me wondering several things……..

    If he got ran over on a back road……would buzzards eat him?

    Is he a hermit……afraid to go out in public “for obvious reasons”

    Does his momma like him since he sold her life insurance and made himself beneficiary?

    Do his sisters and brothers hate him because he made himself sole beneficiary? (oh come on, he’ll steal from you…..you don’t think it’s something he didn’t learn growing up???)

    He thinks his dad is Ronnie something.

    So, we should show some pity……….it would just suck big time being Billy Mayes……….just glad it’s not me. We can walk into a grocery store without being pelted by various items from different isles. Our kids like us because we don’t sound like we’re mad all the time. They also know that people like that either do alot of meth or love crack……….they are taught that, that just isn’t natural…….just stand over here by me……….he’s just………..SPEACIAL.

    So, in time……the problem will take care of its self.

    It’s gotta suck being Billy Mayes when your not admired when walk into a place (other than fox or anyone else who would put that douchebag on). Instead, he only hears “look daddy, theres that loud mouth freak that sold aunt Flo that spray on and comb through hair” and poor old Billy can’t help but sound like he’s pissed when he says to the little girl…….”HI, I’M BILLY MAYES……THAT WAS MY DADDY!!!!” she starts crying and he’s thrown out of McDonald’s <(registered)

    So…….here’s a toast to you Billy………….it’s gotta suck being you……..God love ya cause more than a couple of folks wish that someone would turn off your gravity and you could sucked off the planet…………peace out!

  51. Neptune Beach Babe

    Great idea to write to the networks that allow that obnoxious, loud-mouthed, neanderthal to abuse the airways. And, of course, two of my favorites – FOX and USA – seem to be the biggest abusers although he seems to be spreading across all channels now. I mute or change channels as soon as he comes on and will NEVER buy a product hawked by him.

    And I know someone who met him socially and she said he’s EXACTLY as obnoxious in non-pitch mode as he is on commercials. Can you imagine having to endure him – with no MUTE button?

    I am writing to the networks. I hope someone does start a petition or campaign to quiet him down or remove him from the airways.

    If this horrible thing’s commercials continue to proliferate, I’m hoping someone will come up with a tool like Parental Controls to block his commercials completely.

    If not that, I’m canceling my cable service and reverting to radio.

  52. the liquid mender loud maud is pusching oor$19.95+$ 6.00 s&h total $ 26.00 is selling at walmart for $2.95!!!!

    manny

  53. Could someone create a website where we could list all the companies that use this clown. It will be easier to boycott the products and put the companies on notice.

  54. Haha.. I’m amused that people other than me care enought about this bearded annoying freak to get online and search and/or blog. I emailed the networks that use him, and chance the channel when hes on. If they loose ratings because of some annoying high volume commercial, they might boot em.

  55. I love how everybody noticed this guy, but never took a step to talk about him until you posted this blog. I always found him as more of a novelty though, just made me laugh at him and the products he sells. Better entertainment then most shows on TV.

  56. John Flanagan

    Let’s not forget, his initials are B M

  57. I hope he dies soon, in abject misery and pain.

  58. I watch a recorded program as a means to relax and start to fall asleep…zzzzzzzz. Then, as a result of commercial volume, I am jolted into a frenzy of pure aggrevation! It is Billy May……argh! I want to convey to any company that the voice of this guy only results in my desire to rip off the head of any person in near contact! If you are the ad exec…..wtf are you thinking?????

  59. I find Billy May to be extremly annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His commericals have a volume spike making his advertising pitch all the more annoying.

    mw

  60. Billy Mays is actually quite funny, I’d rather ahve him yell at me than having that ShamWow guy (Vince) tell me that “I love his nuts” while selling me his slap n chop. He also happens to be much more entertaining than most of the other ones doing that kind of commercial. Seriously, if having Billy Mays scream at you for 30 seconds every now and then is your biggest problem in life, consider yourself lucky.

  61. if there were a god he’d give that loud mouthed obnoxious turd a massive heart attack.

    I personnally would like to blind him with Orange Glo, then beat him senseless with an Awesome Augger (WTF that is).

    • “if there were a god he’d give that loud mouthed obnoxious turd a massive heart attack. ”

      Well, you got your wish, creep. Proud of yourself now? What are you doing with your life? He contributed a great deal to commerce. Have you? You may go now.

  62. I’m glad so many of you share my thoughts about Billy Mays……besides his shouting, his voice is about 4 octaves too high……eunuch, as someone mentioned, for sure !!!! I would be suspicious about buying anything he sells if that’s all they can afford to hire to advertise it.
    Yup, I’ve become very familiar with the mute button, although I’ve lately just changed the channel……can’t stand the sight of him….if it is a him.

  63. Hey,I can’t stand listening to the guy either.According to Wikipedia he is the owner of his own production co. and charges $30,000 for a one minute infomercial! The fact is,everyone hates the guy but sales of these useless products sky rocket every time he pitches them,that’s why advertisers keep hiring him..go figure! He’s laughing all the way to the bank for sure!

  64. There is nothing more to say than what’s been said. Who are the idiot’s that hire him? I hate him! Hate””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””” Due to bad health TV is my entertainment. He’s ruined that. Love mu mute button.

    • “idiot’s” is the possessive. “idiots” is the plural. “idiots'” is the plural possessive. Now, that wasn’t too complicated, was it? (Apparently it was for you.) Back to fourth grade, kiddies. Somehow your choice of words fits, but not for Billy’s clients, for whom he made millions of dollars. You might try looking in the mirror.

  65. Harry Peratesties

    no matter what BILLY MAYS selling i will not buy it ! !
    such an annoying voice , i have to turn the channel every time
    who is sooooo stupid to have him promo their product ???

  66. Billy Mays is dead. How about some respect for the dead. Imprudent marketing, relatively speaking, doesn’t make the person. Let’s get off the emotional bandwagon folks

  67. Although the few who detested Billy Mays’ act seem to have migrated to this site, they (you) are in the minority. Orange Glo International (Kaboom, Oxi-Clean, etc) was sold to Church & Dwight for $325 million and the industry giant KEPT Billy Mays as its pitchman. He sold product big time, and that is why he was a great success. RIP.

  68. Billy Mays is dead.

    H-U-R-R-A-H!

    Now if only his TV commercials would die too.

  69. A caveat to all readers,
    Beware of self-righteous and emotionally immature writers purveying at this address.

  70. no need to hunt down Billy Mays and as you said you wanted to put a bullet in his head an airplane ride took care of it for you

  71. madeline hansen

    im sorta sad that he died. he did have a certain ring to his yelling. lol on the tonight show he said he doesnt yell at the veiwers he just projects his voice. plus sells men have to make the product seem like the most important thing in the world and he did his job pretty well.

  72. We still have the shamwow asshole. Maybe something can hit him in the head and kill him too.

  73. Imagine if he had turned to politics:

    “Billy Mays here . . . for the Iraq war! Kablam!”

    “Billy Mays here . . . for Obama’s stimulus plan! Act now and I’ll throw in three dollars of pork for every one dollar!”

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