You know, it’s just not fun to travel by air any more.
We can go into a lot of reasons for this, including poor airline business practices, cost of oil, etc., but certainly one of the main reasons is the need for very tight security, post 9/11.
Now, make no mistake, I am all for security; and I would rather be inconvenienced and safe than have a convenient airport experience followed by a free fall from 30,000 feet in tiny pieces. And the purpose of this particular screed is not to criticize the TSA or our Homeland Security officials for ineptitude, fiscal irresponsibility, or wasting our time by not profiling the most likely suspects first in the name of political correctness. No, my friends, my mission today is to fantasize just a tiny bit about justice. About making things right for those of us who have to nearly disrobe every time we want to go through the airport. About placing a significant amount of the blame directly where it belongs.
On the head of Richard Reid, the convicted would-be Shoe Bomber.
It’s because of this particular
scumbag ass wipe individual that tens of thousands of us, on top of all the other inconveniences and minor indignations that now comprise air travel, must also remove our shoes and walk, sock-shod or barefoot, through an additional security process before continuing our journey. So here’s what I’d like to see.
Once a month, they should fetch this wretch from the Supermax hole in which he now exists, and place him in one of those old-fashioned stocks. You know, the kind they’d put miscreants in for public ridicule back in the 1700s, with their heads and hands sticking through holes in the front. Except in this case, it wouldn’t be in the Olde Towne Square, it would be in the security area of a randomly chosen domestic flight in the US. And the way it would work is that you would still have to take off your shoes for inspection, but once they were off, you’d be able to have one pass by the stocks, be able to look this bastard in the eye, and take one (1) whack at him with your removed shoe. No double hits, because that would be “cruel and unusual” (I tend to be a relatively strict constructionist). Oh, and stilletto heels would be prohibited. As my mom would say, “you could put an eye out!”.
My system would have benefits for all concerned. For the leftish ‘rehabilitation’ crowd out there, this would be a way to get him out of his isolation cell for a while, and give him a chance to consider his crime and perhaps, reconsider his poor life choices. For the rest of us, it would be one small bit of personal compensation for the ongoing misery that is air travel today. And, it has the added benefit of being directed at the individual most directly responsible. Isn’t that justice? I think so.