Category Archives: WTF?!

Post-Transfer Window Shocker – Bosingwa to Celtic?

Evidently it didn’t happen, but we here at Stevie the K: Don’t do as I do, Do as I Say have uncovered EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS which seem to indicate that a deal involving Chelsea defender Jose Bosingwa being dealt to Celtic was very close to fruition when the transfer window closed.

Here is the SHOCKING, EXCLUSIVE photographic proof!

Jose Bosingwa almost joined Celtic!

Jose Bosingwa almost joined Celtic!


More Anti-Semitism in Europe?

Hey, Unibrow, the ball's down there

Hey, Unibrow, the ball's down there

The Heck with the Canadian Healthcare Model, Let’s Adopt the German One

Woman sues over hospital boobs

A German woman is suing doctors after she checked in to have wrinkles removed – and woke up with a new pair of breasts.

Ingrid Bruelling, 33, had the operation in the German city of Kassel.

She wanted to give herself firmer skin and remove the wrinkles after losing 16 stone on a crash diet.

But when she woke up after the operation she found doctors had put two silicone implants into her breasts, increasing their size from a C cup to a D.

Doctors said the woman should not complain as the best way to tighten the skin and remove the wrinkles was to make her breasts bigger.


(emphasis mine)



God’s Will?

One doesn’t want to be thought of as intolerant, or insensitive at a time of a family’s crisis, but after yet another example of a ‘faith-healing’ family’s child dying needlessly, I’m going to spew.

Does it ever dawn on these people that perhaps, just perhaps, God, the Holy One, blessed be He, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, gave us the ability to reason so that we could discover medicine and scientific breakthroughs and actually heal the sick with that intelligence and capability?

Why do these morons insist on cloaking themselves in stupidity and ignorance in the name of God?

Can’t faith and intelligence coexist?

Of course, this raises a whole set of discussions on faith and behavior, e.g. evolution vs. creationism and intelligent design, religious wars, intolerance between religions, etc.

Fine. Discuss.


I Had This Dream Last Night…

…and I never remember them so I wanted to hurry up and write it down before I forgot it. This should give you some insight into exactly what a pathetic loser I really am.

So anyway, I’m apparently pursuing my dream to go abroad on a Football tour, and I’m all excited because I am going to see a really good game — I think it was Everton vs. Liverpool or similar. I’ve apparently arranged everything ahead of time, because I’ve prepaid for all my tickets and pre-arranged my transport throughout the country. And apparently the mode of transportation is some kind of combination of open-air train (like the top half of a double-decker bus) and hovercraft because we’re speeding along highways and seaside roads and then suddenly the train/hovercraft leaps over the rail to the beach, in a manner not unlike a combination of Burnout Paradise and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney. We’re flying down the beach and people are scattering to either side and we’re splashing and so on. Of course I’m in a state of shock because we’re flying over railings and going like 150 mph on a beach, while the people around me are all listening to their i-pods or reading The Sun and barely noticing.

Anyway for some reason the football ground is out in the country, not in the city, so the conveyance leaves us off about a ten minute walk away. And I’m walking with all the other people who are going to the ground to see the game, and I realize that next to me going to the game is Gordon Ramsay. And I’m torn because on the one hand he’s kind of famous and might be interesting to talk to and I know he used to be a football player himself, and on the other hand he might be a huge obnoxious asshole. But in my own self-deprecating and charming way we exchange a few minor pleasantries about the game and so on.

Anyway, later on I arrive at the ground and pull out my tickets, and I almost have a heart attack because they’re for a La Liga double-header between Valladolid and Racing Santander, with another game between Espanyol and someone…and I’m going into a panic because not only do I not have the tickets to the game I’m at, and want to see, but I know almost nothing about Valladolid or Racing Santander, don’t really give a s**t about La Liga and the game is in Spain and it had been played yesterday.

So I run back to the ticket purchase area, which I passed about five minutes before, and of course I am in a panic because it’s something I haven’t pre-arranged, and there’s no guarantee that they’ll even have a ticket, and I’m going the opposite way from everyone, and I get to the ticket window and of course Gordon Ramsay is there. And he starts yelling at me and getting in my face because of my ticket screw-up and he’s calling me a stupid git as if I’m on Hell’s Kitchen and I’ve burnt the risotto and he’s bragging about how he gets all the tickets he wants because he used to play football and he’s a big shot.

And then I woke up.

Understanding English People

One of the things that’s become quickly apparent to me as I’ve started this blog, and been exposed to more of the culture surrounding the Premier League and English football in general,  is that English people don’t speak English. They speak Something Else That Has English In It.

Growing up, I’d had relatively little exposure to the colloquialisms of English speech. My experience with English culture consisted largely of the following:

  • exported BBC programming on Masterpiece Theatre
  • various WWII movies with British forces, e.g. The Longest Day
  • Monty Python
  • To Sir, With Love
  • Mary Poppins & Oliver!
  • Doctor in the House
  • Benny Hill
  • The Two Ronnies

and, more recently,

  • Sexy Beast
  • Snatch

I mean, here we are, supposedly speaking the same language, but there are all these words to which I had never been exposed and for which I have no Real English equivalent.

 Luckily, I found this handy reference guide:

The English-to-American Dictionary

In addition to being a useful, go-to reference, it makes interesting leisure reading. Well done, old boy! Cor blimey! Stone the Crows!

As you can see I have a ways to go yet to get current.